To start with, I have been radically transformed in the last couple years from a prideful false convert into a humbled disciple of Jesus Christ who has been baptized in the Holy Spirit. I love to share my faith whenever I feel comfortable enough to do so. At the end of 2009, I started to feel the Holy Spirit speak to me. God told me in a very obvious and personal way to build a cross. First impression was to build a 20ft rugged cross and put in on the hillside by the house. God had other plans though.

About a month later, I was leaving Lowes with my daughter and she asked me if we were going to go to Fleet Farm, which is one the way home. I didn't plan on it so I told her "No" and immediately thought in my head "not unless God makes me!". Now first of all, I don't recommend doing that...it is not a good idea to tempt God. As I started to pass Fleet Farm the driver's side tire popped so violently that it broke the front bumper cover and broker the plastic lining that surrounds the wheel well right off of the vehicle. As I pulled over and picked up the pieces from the road and tossed them into the car, I contemplated what was happening. I looked at the time and it was 5:59 and I could see that Discount Tire (only 500 yards away) was closing. I laughed hysterically and said aloud to my daughter "Are we really going to Fleet Farm?".  Surely I thought they must have closed the Auto Dept already, but I called anyway and asked if they were open. His response was "If you can get here in the next 15 minutes, we will have you out of here in an hour". I turned to Jackie laughing and told her "God has spoke, we were going to go to Fleet Farm after all".

In Fleet Farm, I walked around looking for a white dry erase board that Lowes didn't have and I found one. I also noticed a clearance pile of wood. I walked up and saw a 4ft and an 8ft 2x4 without any pricing on it. Remember, I really wanted to build a really big cross for the yard to show off my christian faith for my friends and neighbors. It didn't make any sense, but I instantly knew this was the wood, so I asked them how much. The kid working there had to call his boss because they weren't selling them, but were throwing them away because they were very damaged on one side. I told the manager I would happily buy them because those were the exact boards I needed. He shrugged and wrote the price on them with a sharpie market and initialed them. (Look the the far right on the shorter board...says "Dept 01 1.00").This upset me momentarily, but realized that God was in control here and if he felt like popping my tire to get me in there I didn't want to test him anymore. I bought some nuts and bolts and went home with my new tire on the vehicle and 2 boards that were deemed worthless.

Once I got home, it started making sense. God wanted to use something the world was going to throw away for his glory. I was to build a cross I could fit in my car ....... and carry. This cross was going to take me out of my comfort zone. I was going to have to deny myself the usual comfort of sharing God on my terms. The sharpie marker was the hard part... I know many people witness with a cross and have a bible verse or a short statement. God told me to write down my sins starting with the 10 commandments. The Holy Spirit convicted my on what details to share beyond that.

In Mark 8:34,38 Jesus tells us  "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels."  

I now understand better what it means to pick up your cross. I have a long ugly list of bad deeds. He paid for them with his blood because he loves me.

My sin-life reads worse than a years subscription to the tabloid magazines. Being somewhat of a Calvinist, I figure that when people see this cross and they will be powerless to resist scanning it. Their eyes are going to find their sins on there as well. I will try my best to share with them the message below and the rest will be between them and God. 

The bible says that men are appointed to live and die once and to be judged. God's standard that he judges by is perfection. God sees hatred as murder, lust as adultery, using his name casually as blasphemy, loving anything more than him as having other gods, and making up your own moral code as idolatry. It also says that all who do evil will be thrown into the fiery furnace and no adulterer will enter the kingdom of heaven. Our own conscience, which proves God, tells us that we have all sinned and will be found guilty before a righteous God on judgment day. About 2000 years ago, Jesus, God's only son whom in him all other things were created came down from heaven to earth so he could live as a man and to live a sinless life. He was murdered on a cross and when he died, he died for our sins. He made a legal transaction where he allowed God's wrath to be poured out on him to atone for our transgressions. To be saved we need to repent and trust in Jesus Christ and in him alone for our salvation. Not our good deeds, not our own understanding, and not on any other name. We need to die to ourselves and pick up our cross and follow him.

Your support is important for me. I get timid sometimes, I feel intimidated at times, I chicken out, I even try to pretend that God hasn't called me. I don't understand why God wants our prayers or why be bothers to listen and answer them at all, but he is faithful and blesses his children. Please pray for me and pray for the people I will encounter.

In his service, Jake